Jesus is just like me?

Bike rides around the lake, dinner on the lake, boating on the lake, walks around the lake.  Summer in Minnesota.  Those of you who live in other parts of the country may not appreciate how big this is, but we’re hardy Midwesterners who have trudged through 50 mph winds at 20 below zero for nine months of the year and we pretty much refuse to go inside from June through August.

Even with less-than-ideal weather I’m obsessed with being outside.  And if I get to be by water to boot it’s like winning the lottery (IF that was legal for Christians).

You’re probably familiar with Spiritual Pathways – the theory written about by Gary Thomas and popularized by John Ortberg that says that each of us have particular ways that we most naturally feel connected to God.  Intellectual (through books), worship, relational, serving, contemplation, activism. and creation.  Kind of like our “God love language”.

Well since mine is clearly nature I’d really like to think that that was Jesus’ pathway too.  I mean, after all…

• the Sermon on the MOUNT,
• the calming of the STORM,
• the huge catch of fish on the SEA OF GALILEE,
• and the LILIES OF THE FIELD for Pete’s sake! 

Fields, water, mountainsides, sun and sand!  Jesus was an outdoor guy!

Now you might argue that this whole line of thinking is heretical. Jesus didn’t have a pathway to God because He was God, but He was also human and this is my fantasy so settle down.

 “No way!” you say, “Jesus was an Contemplative like me!  ‘While it was still dark he went by Himself to a quiet place to pray.’”  But I would ask, “Where was it that He went to pray??” 

Ha!  OUTSIDE!

Or, you might argue, “For sure His pathway was relationships with others, just like mine is.  He was with people almost constantly!  He formed his own fraternity!”  But, I would counter, where did he find His first disciples?  OUTSIDE!  By the sea!

So go ahead and try to make your case for Jesus having your spiritual pathway, but I think it’s a done deal.  Jesus is just like me.  And BTW I’m pretty sure He was a Meyer’s Briggs ENFJ.  

What’s your spiritual pathway?  If you haven’t explored this, take a look at

John Ortberg’s book, God is Closer than You Think (ch. 7) or take a
spiritual assessment online.

Settle Down and Hand it Over

God’s been messing with me lately and I really wish He’d leave me alone. Although it’s embarrassing to admit, I’ve realized I’m pretty content in my sandbox of sin and God keeps interrupting my play. Just one small example…

Each night when John gets home we go through our day in detail and the other evening as we both shared I got angrier and angrier. I was furious about a bunch of things going on in our lives. Hard-heartedness, injustice, cowardice…I was so frustrated with… people! I enjoy labeling my feelings as “righteous indignation”, but I think God might see it differently.

I was fuming and ranting and raving as I carried dinner out to the patio for us to eat when, totally out of the blue a phrase from scripture came to mind. When that happens it’s usually God trying to get my attention. Now I love it when He’s trying to get my attention to encourage or affirm (with a great promise or something that reinforces my righteous indignation, like “Sit at my right hand til I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.”), but when it’s something that’s uncomfortable or a command actually requires me to change, well that’s when I’d like to ask God to stop meddling.

Anyway, the phrase that clearly interrupted my rant was “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed, indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41,42).

I thought, “What?!! What’s up with that, Lord? I’m NOT Martha!”

The story of Martha (the worker) and Mary (the worshipper) who chose to sit at the feet of Jesus is usually used to talk about the balance of activity and reflection, serving and replenishing, the outer life and the inner life. But as I sat with these words I felt like God was asking me to bring all that I was angry and upset about, to settle down in front of Him and hand it over.

I wasn’t happy about it, but grudgingly I pictured myself sitting at his feet. One by one I named the things I was angry about and said, “Ok Lord, here’s this…You take it and do what only You can do with it.

And with me. Change my heart.” Alright, I may have added “I guess.” at the end.

A lot of my anger involved loss, and what God gave me in return was the reassurance that He is the one thing that can never be taken from me. He can absorb all my anger and frustration. He is the non-anxious Presence and as He receives what I give Him He can transform it and give me the reassurance that in the end everything will be made right.

God’s whisper and my response didn’t immediately fix everything, including my heart, but it’s all part of the process, right? Can you relate? Is there an area where God’s whispering “Settle down and hand it over.”?

Cat and Mouse Games with God

Confession: I’ve been praying for something for 2 1/2 years that is totally futile (at least in human terms) and most people would think is stupid.

2 1/2 years ago I had a book bag stolen and in it was a really special Bible that John had given me years ago. So for the past 2 1/2 years I’ve been praying that my old Bible will miraculously show up (after the robber has read it and had a life-changing encounter with Jesus).

Ok, a book is a book, and a Bible is a Bible and I’ve got a million more at home, but…When you think of the books that are special to you their pages are soft and worn and mangy eared and most of all there’s writing in them, even if it’s just a note to you in the front, right?

One of the things I love to do as I read my Bible is to date different promises or commands that have been meaningful to me, connecting with specific circumstances in my life. It’s such an encouragement when I see how personal and alive God’s word is to me – even if it’s convicting.

Many verses are dated with the name of one of our daughters as I have prayed the verses for them. Next to Psalm 16:8 is 10/9/09 and “Katy -job”.

Other verses (like Is. 42:13 and Is. 43:18,19)have dates with notes about prayers for guidance.

Psalm 9:9 says, “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Next to it is written “Haiti”.

The other day when I was reading (the “replacement”) I came across one of the most meaningful and important notations in my Bible. One I had transferred to my new Bible when the old one disappeared. Next to Matthew 7: 9-11 is written “Bere’s dock, August 15, 2004.”

I had been going through a very difficult time, praying for direction and every time I thought a door was being open for me and I started to walk through, it was slammed in my face. August 15^th of that year we were staying with some friends who live on a lake in Wisconsin and I was sitting out on the dock early one morning, pouring my heart out to God. I said, “It feels like you’re playing a game of cat-and-mouse with me and I don’t understand!!! Help!”

After I prayed, I was still and in the stillness God brought to mind a verse that I vaguely remembered - something like “If a son asks his father for bread, with he give him a stone? No! And how much more does your heavenly father want to give you?” I checked for the reference in my concordance and looked up the verses in Matthew 7, thankful for the personal reassurance from God, but He wasn’t done with me yet.

At the time I was also making a practice of reading in the Message paraphrase so I looked up Matthew 7:9-11 there. And this is what it says, “Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust?… So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?”

The exact phrase I had used in my rant to God, He used in His word to me.

Hebrews 4:12 says God’s Word is living and active. But wow!

Now although I see how God speaks personally to me through his Word daily, this dramatic experience isn’t a common occurrence. Rather it was a gracious gift from God who saw his daughter desperate for encouragement.

Like post-it note reminders, the dates and names in my Bible (even this Bible) are much needed records of His faithfulness over years of my stumbling along, falling down, and getting back up, forgiven and accompanied every step of the way by a patient, personal God.

694

The other day I was driving to our church where I was going to a blessing service for a couple celebrating their 8^th anniversary. Their year has been roller coaster of tragedy and joy in which they lost their two-year-old son in a drowning accident and welcomed the birth of their 3^rd baby. I was joining others in our community to surround and pray for them.

As I turned onto the ramp to get onto highway 100 there was a woman, about 50 years old, standing holding a sign that just said 694. Here’s what went through my head:

• That woman needs a ride to highway 694.
• She’s probably crazy.
• She’s a woman and she doesn’t look dangerous so maybe I could take her and not risk being killed or robbed or raped.
• I’m already doing a good thing (really, a HOLY thing). I have to get to this service or people will be disappointed because I said I’d be there.
• How long would it take me to drive her to 694? That's a long ways away isn't it? WHERE on 694?
• Doesn't it go in a circle? What if I end up driving in circles endlessly for the rest of my life?
• Is this like the story of the Good Samaritan in the Bible?
• Am I like the priest that hurried by on his way to church?
• But did HE have a “legitimate” excuse like mine?
• Did they have dangerous mentally ill people in the Bible standing along the side of the road needing help or were they just safe, “ordinary” people?
• Does Jesus make exceptions to the “rule” of loving others? Like only when you don’t have another commitment or only when it’s clearly safe?

I drove past her with my questions swirling, and pulled into the church parking lot.

Of Psalms and Sailing and Sickness

Last week John and I got to go parasailing and it was, well, just amazing.  As we soared 25 stories above the water

I said, “John I want to write a psalm!” 

I know.  Weird.  I’ve never said that before.  But that’s how I felt!

So I wrote a psalm when we landed.

David definitely does not need to worry about the competition!

Ordinary words just couldn’t capture my feelings.  The glory of God and the thrill of this new experience…being held up by the breeze and God’s hand…

Now this week we’ve been sailing and snorkeling around the BVI’s and I’ve been thinking about David again.

I’m an outdoors person.  Nature is my spiritual pathway so it doesn’t take much to get me excited, but I mean REALLY!!  God was having a great day when He worked on this part of the world. 

We lay on the bow of the boat at night looking up at the dark sky lit by a zillion stars.

Stars are like Easter for me.  Try as hard as I can I still can’t fully comprehend either.  How can anyone take in such magnificence?!

Isaiah tried when he wrote, “Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars.  Behold the one who leads forth their host by number. He calls them all by name.  Because of the strength of His might and the glory of His power not one of them is missing.”

David tried too when he wrote that “The Lord wraps Himself in light as with a garment and stretches out the heavens like a tent.”

This is great when you’re out sailing and the weather is perfect, but then today I got word that my friend, my faithful friend who loves Jesus and has suffered so much, had to go back into the hospital for the millionth time.

 

And then I say, “Lord, you hung the stars!  You could heal Heather with one hand tied behind your back!  Why not?!”

And I want to write another psalm.  A psalm of complaint and questions. Begging for mercy and strength and healing for my friend. 

David, who looked up at these very same stars thousands of years ago, did that too.  “How long O Lord, how long?” he wrote.

I’m in good company I guess.

Do you feel like writing a psalm of praise or complaint today?  Maybe both.

Golf and Being Seen

The other day I was at golf “Boot Camp” with my friend.  I’m a little embarrassed to admit it because golf does not sound very cool and does sound frivolous, but that’s the truth.

At one point the pro came and stood behind me. 

I said, “Ok, watch and tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

She said, “No, I’m going to tell you what you’re doing right.”

Wow, that’s different.

There’s always so much to correct.  I’m forever focusing on the negative – what needs to be fixed in my golf game…and in me.

In “real life” too.  I focus on all that is un-Jesus-y in me and I realize that I think that must be what catches all His attention too.

But 2 Chronicles 16:9 says “the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.”

Reading that, I picture a dad on the sidelines of his 5-year-old’s soccer game, intent on finding the positives to call out in his son.  Sometimes it’s just “Way to go!  You’re running towards the right goal!!”

I like the golf pro who was helping us at Boot Camp.  After a bit, everything seemed to come together and the ball was actually going where it was supposed to go and going about as far as I could expect it to.  At least for the moment.

At that point I had two natural reactions.  The first was to think Jesus might be returning because this was unprecedented.

The second was to instinctively look around for John to see if he saw my good shots.  He wasn’t anywhere in sight, but that’s always my instinct.  He’s such a cheerleader for me…always excited at my progress.  I want him to see me.  To be proud.

Don’t we all want to be “seen”?  To have someone notice, and applaud our baby steps of progress?

Almost as soon as I looked for John, it was like Jesus whispered, “He’s not here, but I see you.  Whether in golf, or “real life” I always see and I’m for you.” 

Amazing.

Jesus never journalled?

Recently we had a fantastic guest speaker at our church. 

According to an informal survey he took, most people don’t like journaling.  They are relieved when they are assured that Jesus never journalled. 

We want to be like Jesus and Jesus didn’t journal so that’s one less thing we need to feel guilty about.

But as someone who likes to journal, I want to say “Hey!  Wait a minute!  How do we KNOW He didn’t journal?  After all, the Bible never says “Jesus sang.”  Or danced.  But maybe He did!

Maybe He was a CLOSET JOURNALLER !!  Maybe He LOVED journaling!

Really, though, I don’t think it matters if He did or He didn’t. 

I think what matters is the value beneath it.

Journaling is just a tool like other things that help us lead an examined life…help us pay attention the work of God in our lives…Help us ask “Lord what do you want to show me about Yourself and myself?” 

Journaling may not be necessary for an examined life, but what is?  

Space?  Attention?  

  Maybe Jesus never journalled, but I look at the time He had walking or boating with the disciples from one town to another,

  the time for reflection,

the conversations,

the questions,

the time carved out to be alone and pray…

That makes me think that even IF He didn’t journal, making time to process life with His Father and others was still a priority.

Maybe some days I need to put away my journal in order to be less self- absorbed, and maybe some days I need to force myself to pick up a pen and process with God some of the not-so-lovely truths He wants me to see.  

You?

Psalm 26:2,3.  Test me Lord and try me, examine my heart and my mind.  For I have been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.

Unburn

My husband, John has been leading our church and our denomination through some controversial waters lately, making it seem some days like he’s Jason Bourne running the gauntlet with a lot of people shooting at him. One person threatened him and called him a terrorist… A tad scary. I asked if there wasn’t “someone” we should report that to. As our friend Sharon says, “Words matter.”

A couple months ago John met with a good friend of ours for coffee.

This should have been a good thing. It was with someone we love and respect.

But when he came home he was …dejected I guess is the word for it. Because this appointment was an attempt to start rebuilding a relationship that has been damaged by gossip. Gossip that was totally unfounded. And as much as John could deny this slander, the damage had been done. He was frustrated and tired and sad.

He and I have been overwhelmed and discouraged at different times experiencing the destructive power of the tongue.

In the Bible James says the tongue can destroy like a forest fire. How do you “un-burn” a forest after a fire?

We just can’t totally undo the damage of words. It seems there’s always a lingering wound, a seed of doubt, a bit of suspicion. I think about how long it takes a charred forest to experience re-growth and I grieve the damage that will take so long to repair. You just have to carefully protect and nurture the new life that starts to grow out of the ashes and pray no one sets another fire.

Why do we seem to want to expect the worst of others, especially leaders?

How delighted must Satan be when our gossip destroys the unity that Jesus called the Church to model?

This is an example from our life, but it’s not about “us”. It’s about all of us…it’s about the Body of Christ and our posture towards each other.

As someone who has both sinned in this way, and experienced the terrible fall-out from others who have, I want to renew my commitment to honest, direct conversations and words that build up. I feel like I should have Proverbs 10:19 tatooed on my hand: “Where words are many sin is not absent.”

Forgive us Lord. Forgive me. Nurture new life out of the ashes.