Settle Down and Hand it Over

God’s been messing with me lately and I really wish He’d leave me alone. Although it’s embarrassing to admit, I’ve realized I’m pretty content in my sandbox of sin and God keeps interrupting my play. Just one small example…

Each night when John gets home we go through our day in detail and the other evening as we both shared I got angrier and angrier. I was furious about a bunch of things going on in our lives. Hard-heartedness, injustice, cowardice…I was so frustrated with… people! I enjoy labeling my feelings as “righteous indignation”, but I think God might see it differently.

I was fuming and ranting and raving as I carried dinner out to the patio for us to eat when, totally out of the blue a phrase from scripture came to mind. When that happens it’s usually God trying to get my attention. Now I love it when He’s trying to get my attention to encourage or affirm (with a great promise or something that reinforces my righteous indignation, like “Sit at my right hand til I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.”), but when it’s something that’s uncomfortable or a command actually requires me to change, well that’s when I’d like to ask God to stop meddling.

Anyway, the phrase that clearly interrupted my rant was “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed, indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41,42).

I thought, “What?!! What’s up with that, Lord? I’m NOT Martha!”

The story of Martha (the worker) and Mary (the worshipper) who chose to sit at the feet of Jesus is usually used to talk about the balance of activity and reflection, serving and replenishing, the outer life and the inner life. But as I sat with these words I felt like God was asking me to bring all that I was angry and upset about, to settle down in front of Him and hand it over.

I wasn’t happy about it, but grudgingly I pictured myself sitting at his feet. One by one I named the things I was angry about and said, “Ok Lord, here’s this…You take it and do what only You can do with it.

And with me. Change my heart.” Alright, I may have added “I guess.” at the end.

A lot of my anger involved loss, and what God gave me in return was the reassurance that He is the one thing that can never be taken from me. He can absorb all my anger and frustration. He is the non-anxious Presence and as He receives what I give Him He can transform it and give me the reassurance that in the end everything will be made right.

God’s whisper and my response didn’t immediately fix everything, including my heart, but it’s all part of the process, right? Can you relate? Is there an area where God’s whispering “Settle down and hand it over.”?