Nothing to Lose

The other day a friend shared something exciting with me.

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but instead of being able to rejoice in what was added to her life, I felt sad and small, focusing on what it felt like had been taken from mine.

It feels like the cup of life that is mine - that which is special to me alone, is so tiny. And it felt like for her to receive what she did, some of what was “mine” had to be poured out, leaving me with less. Kind of like spilled milk.

Do you ever feel this way?

I didn’t like what this stirred up in me and I didn’t want to pay attention and look deeper because I was pretty sure it would reveal more insecurity and selfishness and ugliness about me.

But I gave in and grudgingly asked, “Lord, what do you have to show me about Yourself and myself in this?”

The Bible says Jesus was tempted in every way but didn’t sin. Were there times when He felt diminished? Less than? Small, or “robbed” of something that was “His”?

The story that came to mind as I was reflecting on this was that of the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus offers her water – living water – a veritable spring of water. Kind of like those magic glasses that stay filled even when you pour water out.

A friend of ours suggests whenever we feel our stomach or hands clenching in a situation,

whenever we feel threatened,

we need to remind ourselves, “I have nothing to prove and nothing to lose.”

Could it be that I really don’t have anything to lose?

Could it be that we’re loved with a love that cannot be diminished?

Given the identity of beloved, redeemed child of God that can’t be taken away?

The Bible says “Whoever believes in me…rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

I’m trying to live out of that river today,

out of an economy of eternal abundance,

rather than a ledger of gain and loss,

rejoicing with my friend.